


Owl Post

by 27noir



Series: Mixed Magic [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Thin Veil Series - Jodi McIsaac
Genre: Crossover, M/M, More angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9168244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27noir/pseuds/27noir
Summary: This would be the last time he would say goodbye.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to E for the edits on these! <3
> 
> See End Notes for a note about canon.

 

Three.

 

Padfoot brought him the post, trotting up to the table where Remus was eating his toast and tea, and dropped the letter in his lap. Then he curled up at Remus’ feet with a small huffing noise. Sirius had been there for a month now and was still more likely to be in the shaggy form of Padfoot than human, but Remus didn’t mind. 

Remus wiped his hands, scratched Padfoot between the ears briefly and turned the mail over in his hands. There was a Canadian stamp on the envelope, which was curious, and it was neither a hand nor return address he recognized. He frowned, but opened it, sliding out the single folded sheet inside.

As he read it, he began to shake, pressing a hand to his face before a smile broke through and he laughed. Padfoot perked up, snuffling his nose into Remus’ lap.

“I don’t know that you’re going to believe this, Sirius,” Remus said, and laughed again. “I’m almost not sure I can believe it myself.”

Sirius transformed back into his scraggly human self, pushing his unruly hair out of his face and took the letter from Remus when it was offered. He frowned at Remus, mouth open for a moment, and then a huff of a laugh escaped him.

Then he was laughing so hard that he had to sit down on the floor and hold his stomach, pressing the tears from his eyes with the palm of his hand.

“Well, we better have him round then, don’t you think?” Sirius said at last and Remus smiled.

 

\--

 

The letter arrived by way of an owl of all things, which fluttered down to Felix’s open window and whooed at him, looking somewhat rumpled and grumpy—it had flown across the Atlantic ocean, Felix later realized.

He toke the letter from it and it whooed at him once more, ruffled itself and then promptly fell asleep, right there on the window ledge, too tired from its trip to do anything else.

The paper was thick, parchment actually, and there were ink blots on the page, like someone wrote it with a quill. Felix grinned as he read it, he couldn’t help it.

He sent a letter back with the owl when it woke, and then he was on the next fight out to the UK.

He knew where he was going. He had been there before, some years earlier, when he had just started trying to find Remus. But when he’d arrived, the house had been boarded up and abandoned.

A neighbor had been kind enough to tell him the house had not been lived in for some time, Mrs. Lupin having succumbed to her dementia several years prior. The son had not been seen in nearly as long.

It looked lived-in now, Felix thought as he walked up the lane, though the front garden had not been tended to. But there was a window open and a bike parked out front. A dog barked inside when he knocked on the door, and Felix stepped back, chest tight with anticipation, and waited for someone to answer.

There was a click and the door fell open, a hopeful looking Remus on the other side. He was much older than Felix remembered, rougher, weather-beaten, but he had little time to think on that due to the shaggy black mutt that hurtled itself at him. Felix stepped back, startled, as the dog jumped and barked around him.

“Hey,” Felix said, laughing and grabbing the dog by its scruff. It settled down when he pet it and Felix noticed that it had the most extraordinary grey eyes.

Felix looked at Remus sharply, who was smiling at him from the door, laughter in his eyes. The dog trotted back up to Remus and then slipped into the shadows. A moment later someone stepped up behind Remus, pushing his dark hair away from his thin face, eyes tired but still vivid grey.

Felix stared and stared, until Remus said with a laugh, “I know, we look terrible. I see you’re still the paramount of youth and beauty.”

Felix opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Sirius laughed.

“Come on in, you tosser. We’ll explain it all.”

 

\--

 

Sirius let Remus explain, actually. He still found life much easier to deal with life as a dog those days, happy as he was to see Felix. Sirius knew he was mostly here for Remus.

Besides, the story was so much easier to take with his head on someone’s lap and being scratched between the ears. He didn’t feel quite so guilty about everything then.

So Remus explained over a pot of tea and Felix listened attentively, petting Sirius’ ears and scratching his head.

It was easier too, to cope with the way Felix and Remus looked at each other. Sirius wasn’t jealous, not really. Remus had told him, after the letter from Felix had arrived a few days ago, about Edinburgh. It made Sirius’ heart ache to know that Remus had ever been in such a state, and at his doing, but he was glad Remus had Felix, for a little while at least.

Felix was solemn when Remus finished, and for a while he didn’t say anything, though he kept petting Sirius’ head. Then he looked down at Sirius with a sad smile.

“I feel like this is kind of a stupid question, after all you’ve been through,” he said, “But are you guys okay?”

Sirius heard Remus give a huff a laugh.

“Better than we’ve been,” Remus said. Sirius licked Felix’s hand in affirmation of this, and Felix grinned.

Sirius stayed a dog the better part of Felix’s stay, letting Remus and Felix catch up, his head on either’s knee. He was trotting through the kitchen, though, where Remus was making tea and caught the word _Irial_ fall from Remus’ tongue. Sirius felt obligated then to return to human form.

“Have you seen him?” Sirius asked, maybe a little too earnestly.

Felix shook his head. “Not since… Well, not since we were all in Ireland, to be honest. He can be a bit hard to track down sometimes.”

Sirius sunk down into a near by chair, deflated. He pressed his palms to his face.

“I saw him,” he said, with a rush of air. “Just after I got out. I wish I could tell you where—somewhere on the coast. I’m afraid I treated him rather poorly.” He looked up at Felix, who was blinking at him in surprise. “When you see him again, tell him I’m sorry?”

Felix nodded. “I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Felix left later that day with a promise to keep in touch. He hugged them both, Remus a little longer and a little lingering, and it set Sirius’ hackles up just a bit. Okay, so maybe a little jealous, he admitted to himself.

But Remus tugged on his fingers when Felix was gone, looked at him adoringly and pulled him close.

“You know it’s you, right?” Remus said, fingers in Sirius’ still scruffy hair. He put his face close to Sirius’ and gave him a level look. “It’s always been you.”

Sirius dropped his head to Remus’ shoulder.

“I just got you back,” Remus said softly in his ear. “I’m not going to give you up again.”

“Not even for a god?” Sirius asked, tightening his hold around Remus’ waist.

“Not even for a god,” Remus confirmed.

 

\--

 

Two.

 

Remus was waiting for Felix at the station. The letter that had brought him overseas again was still clutched tightly in his hand. He kept taking it out and reading it with shaking hands throughout the trip and now it was creased and fiddle weary but no less lacking in sorrow.

Felix pulled Remus into a hug as soon as he was close enough to do so, spectacle though they might have been among the scattered travelers on the platform. Remus hugged him back, though briefly, and looked just on the edge of uncomfortable when Felix put a hand to his cheek.

“Come on,” he said, nodding at Felix to follow him out of the station. So Felix followed.

There was a “For Sale” sign at the edge of the yard, though the house looked far more unkempt than when Felix was last here, not two years past—the garden overrun, the house dreary.

Remus looked even more weather-beaten and weary than the house, which he unlocked, leading Felix into the kitchen. The house was cold inside, and dark. Remus waved his wand and a few lights turned on, then he busied himself with the kettle.

“Tea?” he asked Felix, distractedly. “I haven’t got anything stronger, I’m afraid.”

Felix nodded, before settling at the table. To break the heartwrenching silence, he asked, “You’re selling the place?”

“Not much reason to keep it,” Remus said without turning, still making tea in measured gestures. “What with the war. Besides, I’m barely here. And there’s not much to be attached to. It wasn’t my childhood home or anything.” He shrugged and turned at last, his tea ritual finished, but stared at the floor.

Then Remus pressed his hand to his face with a shaky inhale. 

“I’m sorry, Felix,” he said. “I shouldn’t have dragged you all the way out here.”

“It’s okay, Remus,” Felix said, standing. But he only ended up hovering, not sure if Remus wanted him to touch him.

“There hasn’t been time…” Remus started, and he looked wrecked. Felix waited, letting Remus have all the time he needed to get it out.

“There wasn’t even a body to bury,” Remus whispered. “He fell and there wasn’t even time to say anything. He was just _gone._ ”

Felix watched as Remus looked away, pushing the edge of his worn sleeve to his nose. Remus sighed heavily and it seemed the sudden emotion was gone, replaced once more with a sense of weariness Felix could only imagine.

“Not many people know,” Remus said, sighing again. “About Sirius and I, and I just… I couldn’t think of anyone else…”

“Remus, it really is okay.” Felix reached out and squeezed Remus’ arm lightly. “I’m glad to be here for you. For whatever you need, okay?”

Remus nodded and looked about to say something when there was a tapping and a skittering at the window. Remus opened it to reveal an owl, who dropped a letter on the counter. It ruffled itself and then ducked back out the window.

Remus sighed, he picking up the letter.

“Oh, Nymphadora,” he said softly.

Then, to Felix’s surprise, he rather unceremoniously tossed the letter on a pile of papers at the end of the counter before turning back to the kettle, which was beginning to whistle.

He must have seen Felix’s eyebrows raise, because Remus gave something of an eye roll while he filled the teapot.

“Sirius’ cousin,” he said by way of explanation. “Has a bit of a crush on me, it seems. She…” Remus shook his head. “I’m far too old for her, of course. Sirius would tease me about her, but I don’t think he knew how serious she was.”

He put down the kettle with a thunk and a clatter, and hung his head, pressing his hands to his face again.

Felix couldn’t take it any longer and gathered Remus in his arms. Remus didn’t resist, letting Felix hold him, but not reciprocating.

“Remus,” Felix said, but didn’t know what words of comfort he could give. He wasn’t sure Remus wanted to hear that it will be okay. Felix didn’t know that it _would_ be okay. This war already seemed to have taken a high toll.

So he just held him, until Remus pulled away, fussing with the tea, and they didn’t talk about Sirius again.

 

\--

 

Remus woke, adrenaline threading through his veins and Sirius’ name on his lips. This was not the first time he had woken in the middle of the night with visions of Sirius falling through the archway, and he suspected it would hardly be the last.

“Remus?”

The voice in the dark startled him, disoriented as he was, and he groped for his wand in the dark, only to knock it off the side of the bedside table.

“Remus, it’s Felix! It’s just me.”

“Felix?” The dream was fading, and he felt cold and sick. He tried to catch his breath. Tried to remember where he was.

“You were thrashing in your sleep. Are you okay?”

Right, Felix. Remus had picked him up from the station the previous afternoon. Remus had sent him a letter, asked him to come.

He had asked him to come because Sirius is dead and that was not a dream.

Remus reached out for Felix, who must see better in the dark, because he clasped Remus’ hand in his with ease. Remus was shaking. He wondered if he might throw up.

There was a creak as Felix sat on the edge of the bed. Remus gripped his hand tightly, trying desperately to get a hold of himself.

But Sirius was dead. It should have been Sirius here to comfort him, not Felix, but Sirius was dead.

It’s had been six whole days and Remus hadn’t allowed himself to break apart about it, too afraid that if he did, there’d be no putting himself back together. Too afraid of what lay on the other side of accepting what had happened.

It had been six whole days, but Sirius was not coming back.

He couldn’t hold it anymore. The dam broke.

Remus cried and cried, sobbing like he hadn’t since he was very young. He cried like he did the first few moons, when he was too young to really understand what had happened, too young to understand how much his vibrant emotion hurt his parents to the core.

He had learned, of course. He learned to pack his emotions in little spaces, to contain them, to chain them up, like his wolf. He wouldn’t be a bother. He wouldn’t cause any more pain or sorrow if he could help it.

And maybe it was just in Felix’s nature that Remus seemed to find himself in a weakened state of emotion in his company. Or maybe Felix always just appeared at his lowest points. Remus didn’t know. But he wondered what twist of fate had led to Felix being the one to pick him up from pieces in Sirius’ absences.

Felix, who had gone from being a stranger to sort of an intimate friend in what Remus still believed to be one of the most bizarre incidents of his life. 

But even that made him think about Sirius, his bright star in the midst of all of it, and he only cried harder.

At some point Remus stopped crying, but only, he thought, because he was just too tired to continue. And when he did manage to remember to breathe, when stillness settled on him like death, he found he had buried himself in Felix’s chest, Felix’s arms tight around him.

Felix too, had been crying. Remus hadn’t even noticed.

Remus stayed there, pressed his face to Felix’s soggy, tear-stained shirt and wondered what the war would take from him next.

He wondered if there was anything left for it to take.

He wondered if he cared.

 

\--

 

One.

 

The letter arrived by owl, like all the others, but Felix frowned at the unfamiliar hand.

This would be the last time he would scramble to get the next flight out, he realized. This would be the last time an owl would have occasion to drop through his window.

This would be the last time he would say goodbye.

There was a severe-looking woman waiting for him when he reached the graveyard in a small village named Godric’s Hollow.

“Ms. McGonagall?” he asked, and she nodded curtly, then shook his outstretched hand.

“Felix, I presume?”

“Yes. Thank you again,” Felix said.

She nodded once more. “We’ve been going through Remus’ will. It appears he left you this.”

She handed him small sketchbook, well worn.

Felix remembered what it looked like brand new. He remembered the curve of Remus’ back as he sat sketching, his quick fingers, the grey graphite smudge on the edge of his hand.

Felix pressed the back of his hand to face and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Thank you,” he said softly. She nodded again.

She showed him to the gravesite before she left. Felix recognized James’ and Lily’s names as they walk past. Not much further along, Sirius’ name appeared on a headstone. Beside him, Remus.

Felix sat alone in front of the two graves for a long time.

When it started to get dark, he headed to the nearest pub, sat down with a drink, and opened the sketchbook.

A few of the sketches he’d seen before—the ones of Hogwarts Remus had sketched when he stayed with him in Edinburgh. There were a few others from that time that Felix didn’t remember, but recognized as pieces from the National Gallery, or the view of the park from that flat. There were a few of Felix, even. The rest of the book was filled with various things, sites and monuments from Remus’ travels. But the last few pages, dated in the months before he died, were filled with sketches of Sirius. It was still hard to see the gaunt face he wore then, but Remus drew it with life, bringing out the joy still lurking in Sirius’ face and eyes.

Felix got on a plane and went home the next day. Finn picked him up when he landed, and Felix had him drive them straight to the Fox and Fey, where he bought Finn a pint, and told him tales of the two brave young men he once met on a stormy night on a beach in Ireland.

**Author's Note:**

> A note about canon:
> 
> I believe I have, to the best of my ability, stayed true to the Harry Potter canon, in so far as times and dates.
> 
> The Thin Veil, on the other hand, I royally mucked up. And while it doesn't not particularly pertain to this story, the basis of this series does not fit with the Thin Veil canon. So consider this an AU, if you like. Or a headcanon. I just hope my lack of canon compliance doesn't ruin the story for you.


End file.
